I’ve had a good day today. We were on time for church today even with me having to make a dish for the linger longer ( I made vegetable bow tie pasta), and finish up the Relief Society newsletter. One of the fun things about living in a tourist town is that we get a huge influx of visitors on holiday weekends. The visitors today literally doubled the size of our congregation. And we had all planned ahead so as to be able to feed them all at our linger longer. I love visitors. My primary class of five grew to twenty-one–and they were all really well behaved. Our lesson was on Moses receiving the ten commandments, so I felt it appropriate to end our lesson with an outdoor game of Simon Says. Loose tie-in, I realize. But still…
Speaking of my class–a couple weeks ago, our lesson was about Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. We discussed how Joseph set a good example for us by fleeing a bad situation. I asked my kids if any of them could remember a time when they were in a bad situation where they had the feeling they should leave. Samantha quickly raised her hand and shared with us a time when she was with a friend who wanted to kill a caterpillar. Samantha told how she shouted, “No! Don’t do it!” and then ran quickly away. Then she added, “Actually, I galloped away because we were playing the horse game.” Oh, man. I love that girl. Let’s just hope killing caterpillars is the worst temptation she’ll have to face.
And I wore pantie liners in my shirt again–cute lime green shirt, but we all know what happens to a cute lime green shirt when it gets wet. It turns dark green. No good. So I wore pantie liners and a navy blue cardigan. You know what color navy blue turns when it gets wet? Navy Blue.
O.K. For anyone who’s interested, I’m willing to let you in on the business opportunity of a lifetime. I have the most amazing idea. I’m in the process of designing armpit liners. They will be skin colored and will be for the purpose of preventing sweat rings when someone is perspiring. Brilliant, right? I mean, if we have diapers for old people, and medication for over-active bladders, and girdles to hold in our bulges, the world is definitely ready for some legitimate confidence protection. The pantie liners just aren’t cutting it. They are made for panties, after all. So I’m working on my prototype. Brian has suggested using mole-skin. He’s so smart. But anyway…I’m in need of a business partner who would be good at the whole advertising/patent part of it all. I’m thinking we’ll start by calling all the deodorant and adult diaper companies–maybe even some sports product companies–to pitch the idea and then offer to sell them the patent. What do you think? I figure that none of you can try to steal my idea because this is being eternally recorded on the world wide web. It will be easy to prove who thought of it first. So…anyone specializing in marketing out there? I’ll be willing to split the millions with you 70/30 or maybe even 60/40 if you’re really good. So let me know.
Other than that…I read an article recently which encouraged parents to teach their children to value and respect other religions. I think that’s really important, so tonight we’re watching Nacho Libre. Nachoooooooooo!!!!
I am the perfect person for the liners in the pits. Or should we say DryPits™. (Yes, that is a trademark symbol after the DryPits). Except I know nothing about patenting. Ask Charles Winchester III about that one. BUT I will advertise for you…as an anonymous person of course. I can't let too many people that Niagara Falls comes out of my sweat glands (for those of you who read this comment, don't worry…my problem isn't THAT bad–I just realize that exaggeration makes for a better story–or I guess comment in this case) when I get nervous. Anyway, I was thinking we'll split it 50-50, but whatev… I'll go with 60-40.
Ann you always make me laugh. I miss hearing your funny life comments more often. Will you still be my friend when you are a millionair?
nothing says respect for all religions like a little nacho.
i have a great idea for the pit sweat catchers…make them with wings! wings that wrap around your arm and hold those suckers tight. yes now i get a portion of the cash
1. I cannot believe you had 21 kids in your class!!!!! I don't know what I would have done.
2. Audge needs to be your model for DryPits.
3. Laura needs to do her hair for the pics.
4. Sarah needs to take the pics.
5. Charlie can write the patent.
6. Seth can be handing out free samples with boooks of mormon.
I guess that makes me your manager & I get a piece of the pie too.
great idea!!! I'd totally buy them. I hate wearing sweaters over everything just to hide my sweat. 🙂
i wish we were some of the visitors this past weekend — i do know how you love visitors. you're such a good host. 🙂
hope to see you soon 🙂
I love your blogs Ann!!!
Have you tried using certain dry? It's the BEST antiperspirant ever! I used to get nasty pit stains till I found that. You might not have to wear armpit pads after all ;o)
Ann, you are hilarious. Don't ever let Brian convince you that you are not funny. If you don't make your millions with DryPit, at least you make people laugh. Miss you.
I love Audge's trade mark name. Do it Ann and Audge! 🙂 I love Samantha's braveness, and what a funny story, 21 kids in your class, AND a good day, amazing and Ann you are a Saint! 🙂 We love Nacho Libre! What a great show. And I love you!