Does anyone know what the heck I’m talking about when I say Chinese torture? Actually, I don’t even know what the heck I’m talking about when I say Chinese torture except that my siblings and I spent at least half our lives claiming that somebody or something was giving us Chinese torture….I’m feeling a little bad right now because I just took a second to Google Chinese torture and it turns out it is probably not something we should have been trivializing by making reference to it so lightly all those years. But anyway, if you will forgive my ignorance… Chinese torture to us consisted of those things that gave you the yucky chills down your back, or just drove you crazy. You know–the nails on a chalkboard kinds of things. Well, do you know what gives me Chinese torture (again, please excuse me)these days? Bare feet shuffling or rubbing across smooth cement that has dirt on it, when women wear eyeliner without mascara, utensils falling half way through the darn holes in the utensil basket of the dishwasher so that you cannot pull out or push in the bottom rack, and crayons falling through the crack of the pew all during sacrament–forcing the poor people in back of us to bend over to pick them up fifty times. Ahhhh!!!!!
Anyway…
Things continue to be pretty good here–except for the fact that Camp informed me that my teeth are indeed yellow. If I only had a dime for every time a kid told me I have yellow teeth…I specifically remember, for example, going with Curtis Townsend to visit our “little brother” (as part of the Big Sister Big Brother program)–oh, what was his name?….Kyle!….And he informed us that Curtis’s teeth were white and that mine were yellow. It’s nice to be able to rely on kids for an honest opinion, but seriously! One can only take so many honest opinions. Besides, if I could change my yellow teeth, I certainly would. In fact, new white teeth would be my plastic surgery of choice–way above a boob job, or botox, or vericose vein removal…and yep, even above eyelash extensions. The thing is–getting white teeth is not as easy for me as it would be for most of you. Why? Well it’s a long story, and I’m not good at making long stories short. Oh, alright. I’ll try. Needed fake teeth. Long time ago. Teeth whitening new. Didn’t know enough. Got yellow fake teeth. Fake teeth don’t bleach. Wish I could do it over again. Don’t have the five grand to. Bummer.
But, yeah. Easter was super fun. We went up to Jigg’s and Julie’s property to spend Saturday and have lunch and an egg hunt, and then on Sunday, the kids got to wear their new Easter outfits from Becky and we had a nice ham dinner with Jen and Tim and their kids.
And my mom surprised us and came up on Thursday! A girl couldn’t ask for a better surprise than that! (nor could her kids), so we were spoiled with attention and candy, and had to take her back to the airport today.
And that’s about it.
Oh, wait! I trimmed my trees. Yes, I decided they did indeed need a hair–scratch that–needle cut, so I shaped those babies right up. And I think they look marvelous.
Oh, and we saw turkeys gobbling through our back yard! I mean, we had gotten used to the bear sightings (it pretty much freaked my mom out to see one for herself), but a turkey? We could be selling tickets to our own private zoo!
I’m just kidding, Mom. I really will start looking into a solution to the bear problem tomorrow. It really is scary. (f you look carefully, you can see the bear in the picture with the swing set.)
Oh, and you know what is ALMOST as scary as our bear problem? This.