I know. I’ve just got so much to say lately. I’m still thinking about how my life has changed in the last ten years–or rather, what I’ve learned in the last ten years. Some of the things I’ve learned are so cool that I should be featured on Oprah to share them with the world–except that I am boycotting Ophrah, because she’s retarded. So here is my top ten list. It’s kinda like David Letterman’s top 10 list, except that my top ten things are not necessarily funny, and they are not necessarily the top ten.

#10. If you always wear make-up, everyone will notice when you don’t. If you go frequently without make-up, nobody will notice and nobody will care.

#9. I’m much cooler when I refrain from gossiping.

#8. Kissing is not really scary. It’s only a little bit scary.

#7. What it means to truly be a good friend.

#6. Heavenly Father really is a God of miracles.

#5. A hen is just a female chicken. A rooster is a male chicken.

#4. It’s difficult to understand and appreciate the Atonement until we see the need to repent.

#3. It’s not “play it by year, ” it’s “play it by ear.”

#2. How male horses’ privates’ work. Fascinating.

#1. (Chels taught me this and it has changed my life) It’s totally possible to convince people you are beautiful. ( I’m not kidding. Brian is totally convinced. ) It all comes back to the fact that confidence really is everything.

Wait. I guess this is the top 11 list because I’ve got one more super big one.

#11. If you want someone (like your husband or wife, for example) to feel that you are the most beautiful, wonderful, talented, amazing, fun, interesting, sexy person in the whole world, all you have to do is show that person that THAT is how you feel about THEM.